every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
