who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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