we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
