what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
