i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Do vagina's smell?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
