just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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