it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
