i barfeds in our rink
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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