so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
