Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
