i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
