Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
