At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Everyone says I win the strip club
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
