when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
