ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
