I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
