I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize