I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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