My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
