do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
