That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
