I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
