so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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