i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
