STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
