No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
