Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
