dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
