Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Randomize