i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
