Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
