We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
