he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize