nutella sex= disaster
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
