he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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