Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
