The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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