My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
