youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
