I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You can't just leave with hair like that
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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