i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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