they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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