I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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