Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
