What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize