K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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