Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
