And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
