Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
