are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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