i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
