Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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