Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
