FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
