I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
