Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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