He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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