Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
