i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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