I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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