this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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