What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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