so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize