sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
